Little Red Riding Hood (Parody)

    There was a sweet little girl loved by everybody but most of all, by her grandmother who once made her a red velvet hood. Because it suited her so well and she wears it all the time; she came to be known as Little Red Riding Hood.
    One day, her mother said to her.
    “Come! My little Red Riding Hood. Here is a box of Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, a cup of Starbucks coffee, a piece of chocolate cake from Goldilocks and a bottle of Coke zero. Take this to your dear grandmother. She is sick and wick and these will do her very well. Mind your manners and give her my greetings, behave yourself on the way and keep yourself right on the path for you might stumble down and waste the food from the basket, understood?
    “Yes! I will mother.”
    Now, the grandma lived out into the woods half an hour walk from the village and when Little Red Riding hood reached the woods, a wolf came up to her.
    “Good day, Ms. Little red riding Hood!”
    “Good day, Mr. Wolf.”
    “Where are you going so early, Ms. Little Red Riding Hood?”
    “To grandma’s”
    “What are you carrying under your apron?”
    “Grandma’s sick and weak, so I’m taking her some sweets to give her strength.”
    “Little Red Riding Hood, where does your grandmother lives?”
    “Her house is half an hour’s walk from the village, under the 5 large oak trees.” She replied.
    Then the wolf walked Little Red riding Hood a little while and said:
    “Little red Riding Hood, haven’t you seen the beautiful flowers in the woods? Why don’t you go and take a look!”
    Little Red Riding Hood glanced around her and when she saw the loveliest flowers everywhere, she thought to herself.
    “If I take a bouquet to grandma, she will be very pleased. Anyway, it is still early and I’ll be home on time.”
    While Little Red Riding Hood helped herself gathering flowers, she seems to hear tiny voices not far from her. She searched for it and found to her surprise that it was her Troll friends.
    “Little Red Riding Hood! Little Red Riding Hood! You must go now to your grandmother’s house! Quickly!
    “Why? What’s wrong Poppy?”
    “Your grandma! I think she’s in great danger. A wolf broke inside your grandma’s house. You must know that wolf is the one who ate our friend Glitter and I’m afraid he’ll do the same thing to your dear grandma!”
    “Oh gosh! That’s horrible! I should go now my friends. Thank you so much for the information.”
    Little Red Riding Hood dashed off hurriedly as fast as she can to her grandmother’s house and when she got inside her room, everything is so strange that she said exclaiming.
    “Oh grandma, what big hands you have?”
    “All the better to hug you my dear”
     “Oh grandmas, what big eyes you have!”
    “All the better to see you my dear.”
    “Oh grandma, what big ears you have!”
    “All the better to hear you my dear.”
    “Oh grandmas, what big mouth you have!”
    “All the better to eat you with!”
    And with that, Mr. Wolf jumped out of bed. Jumped on poor Little Red Riding Hood and ate her eyes up! Her lungs! Her intestines and her Heart!
    Little Red Riding Hood cried and shouted at the top of her lungs until her mother heard her.
    “Oh dear, what’s wrong?”
    “ Huhuhuhuhuhu! Mother I have a very bad nightmare. I was dreaming that a wolf swallowed up grandma and that same wolf ate me up alive!”
    “Now, now, now, stop crying my little girl. They are all just a dream and they’re not real. Let us just pray together so that God will send you angels to guide and light you every night, how about that?”
    “Thank you mother!”